Making Breakthroughs Happen as Mothers: Interview with Jilianne Roylence Ramilo-Francia

The path to motherhood can look different for everyone. Some may have chosen to continue their careers and provide for their family, while others may have chosen to give up those careers and make motherhood their full-time job. But Jilianne Roylence Ramilo-Francia, writer and entrepreneur, is here to present a third option: you can make a career out of motherhood, because it doesn’t end one’s lifelong dreams; it fuels them.

8Letters sat down with Jilianne to talk about her self-improvement book, Creating Breakthroughs in Motherhood, a guide for all kinds of mothers looking to take a step into their creative and professional pursuits.

What inspired you to write Creating Breakthroughs in Motherhood, and how did your own experiences shape the narrative?

I was inspired to write this book because I had this desire to pay it forward. I knew what it felt like to become a first-time mother. It was as if the world I once knew was utterly lost, and in this new world of becoming a parent, I felt lost, too. With all the responsibilities of becoming a new mom when you are always needed and when I felt like I could no longer have time to pursue my career or passions in life, I didn’t know where to start or how to feel like I was my old self again.

It took me years to realize that becoming a mother and embracing the seasons in it can help you elevate how you use your time and skills. In that realization, I also discovered that it takes a lot of learning and unlearning so you can find the momentum to keep going and pursue your passions.

You discussed feeling lost in motherhood. Can you elaborate on how you navigated these feelings and ultimately found your identity?

I felt lost in motherhood because, as a new mom, it was the time I recently left my teaching career. I could see how my co-workers thrived in the world of teaching, yet there I was, sitting in our home–breastfeeding my child, cleaning the house, cooking home-cooked meals, bathing the baby, or washing the laundry–feeling like my dreams were entirely out of my league.

I was getting a little depressed about how I was missing the life I used to know, and I verbalized these feelings to my husband. It was then that he told me to get back to reading. Since our conversation, I realized it’s a small thing to do–to go back to what I love–to read again. So I took a book out again. Once I read it, one habit was formed until a second habit was stacked, which was writing. Since then, I learned to feel my feelings and that it is okay to feel depressed, but in feeling that, what shall I do? I have two options–keep being depressed or take small steps to reconnect with myself.

Can you share a specific moment or experience that you consider a breakthrough in your journey as a mother?

My first breakthrough as a mother was when I learned to breastfeed. I thought breastfeeding came out naturally, but it was hard. I experienced sore and cracked nipples, and it took me lots of practice, learning from others, and determination to continue with my journey. The next breakthrough associated with my first one was that I was able to create a business related to breastfeeding, where I sell nursing clothes to share my advocacy with other mothers.

Once a breakthrough happens to me, all I have to do is keep the momentum to create more breakthroughs, such as expanding our business, getting featured, receiving awards, building a community, and becoming financially free even while working in the comforts of my home, even when I left the profession I once belonged to.

What were some of the biggest challenges you faced while balancing motherhood and your professional aspirations?

When my children were in the transition period, it was also hard for me to transition to a new routine. For instance, when my firstborn entered the big school, we made new adjustments with our time.

It is also challenging to unlearn some Filipino cultures of always saying yes to your relatives and sticking to old habits of staying up late at night, spending too much, and the link. So, my husband and I continue to do our best to establish our own family culture–so we can live with rhythm and alignment.

In the book, you mention habits and routines that help mothers thrive. Could you highlight a few of these that you found particularly impactful?

Two of my favorite habits are (1) having a regular “mental workout” and (2) obtaining the habit of organizing and planning.

Having a regular “mental workout” as a mom was so crucial for me. As an English teacher and writer, I was once an avid reader. When I became a mom, I lost time for my hobbies. When my husband told me to bring back my love for reading, a whole new perspective about my plans and life came back to life. As moms, we can only think of our children’s well-being, and sometimes, we are entrapped by it. However, when we do the things we love, we realize that we, too, are important. If we can take care of ourselves, we can take care of others better. I started reading again. This mental workout stretched my thoughts from scarcity to abundance and from feeling isolated to feeling a sense of belongingness in the world I live in. 

Second is the habit of organizing and planning. With all the responsibilities and schedules I now have as a mother of young children, it is essential to plan every needful thing. I knew that I couldn’t have all the time for myself, so I protected my time by doing time blocking, where I set time for my most important work, time for doing household chores, and time to study or play with our children. I tried to synchronize our time and schedule as a family so I could give time for what I wanted to pursue as a mom.

How can mothers connect their inner selves with their current roles, and why is this connection essential for personal growth?

Mothers can connect [with] their inner selves when they start to bridge the gap between who they were before motherhood, who they are now, and where they want to be. This connection begins with self-awareness–accepting their passions, values, identity, hobbies, interests, and skills, then integrating them into their desired roles. 

This connection is essential for personal growth because it nurtures a mother’s sense of self beyond her responsibilities. When a mother aligns her mission and vision, she can live her life with purpose and end the season of self-doubt.

Who should read your book, and why is it a must-read?

This book is for every new mom who wants to fulfill their role and identity as a working mom or mom entrepreneur. We live in a generation where we don’t have to feel “just a mom.” We live in a world where we can do things “because we are a mom.” This book is for those who feel like they do not know where to start or how to elevate from feeling stuck. This book is for those who want to know the habits of successful mothers who create momentous breakthroughs in their lives.